Coming to terms with fears buried deep inside of me from my childhood, with the help of a psychotherapist.

My relationship with my mother as a child to becoming a adult.

No affection, love shown or given by my mother. Felt like a Unwanted child, given no love and no care and attention, just left to my own devices all the time by my mother. Unfilled longing for my mother’s love and attention and intense hatred towards her for with holding what I needed as a child. As adult every woman would trigger my neediness. This would manifest into addictive compulsion to conquer and seduce women, So I would get female love and attention that I craved. If I was rejected I would sabotage the relationships. Mother has Narcissistic tendencies shouts and argued every day of my childhood with her partner’s. Suffered emotional abuse because of this.

My relationship with my father and stepfathers as a child and becoming a adult.

Abandonment issues from real father. Unwanted child. Stepfather was a alcoholic, abusive and violent very narcissistic person with a lot of violent tendencies.

Mother lied to me regarding my stepfather been my father and my real father. I was never showed love from my father, stepfather or any male figure in my life. Second stepfather was a very narcissistic, self centered person, lifetime of arguing with mother every morning using me and his own children as emotional punch back.

My relationship with my family as a child and becoming a adult.

Wealthy family. Very narcissistic family every think about them self’s no love for each other, very jealous of each other. Money Is more important to them all. I find it difficult to be criticized or helped buy others. I always get defensive and hot headed towards the person who is criticizing me. Was criticized a lot as a child and adult by my family not happy with allowing me to be I or have a opinion. NO empathy for others in the family always self-centered. Always telling others how to think and do. Believing they have all the answers. Struggle being deep. Worried more so what the neighbor’s would think. Christian family yet do nothing for other people only them self’s. Stepfather’s family, some family members had signs of neglect for some of the children, clothing them feeding them. Sexual abuse apparent threw out parts of family. Was abused by two cousins seems like learned behavior, they were abused my adults with in the family.

Key words Or Cycles I have been in as a child and adult

 

Co-dependency

Narcissistic relationships

Neediness

Trust issues

Abandonment issues

Sexual Abuse

Sexualized

Physical abuse

Emotional abuse

Self – destructive Tenancies

Communication difficulties

Highly sensitive to conflict (loud voices, arguing, disagreements)

Low self esteem

No love for my self

Stubborn

Attachment Disorder

Inappropriate emotional responses to stressful situation

 

Un diagnosed as a child didn’t have enough information.

 

DISLEXIC

ADHD

TRATES OF ASPERGES

 

Under going test for each.04ca6467c0dd61dc85289f53173e6ecc--protecting-children-quotes-children-s

8e4e3774991a4523d5a7b4478712f6a3--quotes-pics-true-quotes

72e890ec6bf8ba1d3fdf66ade7828472--narcissistic-mother-in-law-narcissistic-abuse

b88ff9bd46c7fd73f4a139a96ec556e7--parents-divorce-after-divorce

78cb72e1b9cb5f2198a1ed087948c8dc--prayers-for-children-protection-protecting-children-quotes

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s