My relationship with my mother as a child to becoming a adult.
No affection, love shown or given by my mother. Felt like a Unwanted child, given no love and no care and attention, just left to my own devices all the time by my mother. Unfilled longing for my mother’s love and attention and intense hatred towards her for with holding what I needed as a child. As adult every woman would trigger my neediness. This would manifest into addictive compulsion to conquer and seduce women, So I would get female love and attention that I craved. If I was rejected I would sabotage the relationships. Mother has Narcissistic tendencies shouts and argued every day of my childhood with her partner’s. Suffered emotional abuse because of this.
My relationship with my father and stepfathers as a child and becoming a adult.
Abandonment issues from real father. Unwanted child. Stepfather was a alcoholic, abusive and violent very narcissistic person with a lot of violent tendencies.
Mother lied to me regarding my stepfather been my father and my real father. I was never showed love from my father, stepfather or any male figure in my life. Second stepfather was a very narcissistic, self centered person, lifetime of arguing with mother every morning using me and his own children as emotional punch back.
My relationship with my family as a child and becoming a adult.
Wealthy family. Very narcissistic family every think about them self’s no love for each other, very jealous of each other. Money Is more important to them all. I find it difficult to be criticized or helped buy others. I always get defensive and hot headed towards the person who is criticizing me. Was criticized a lot as a child and adult by my family not happy with allowing me to be I or have a opinion. NO empathy for others in the family always self-centered. Always telling others how to think and do. Believing they have all the answers. Struggle being deep. Worried more so what the neighbor’s would think. Christian family yet do nothing for other people only them self’s. Stepfather’s family, some family members had signs of neglect for some of the children, clothing them feeding them. Sexual abuse apparent threw out parts of family. Was abused by two cousins seems like learned behavior, they were abused my adults with in the family.
Key words Or Cycles I have been in as a child and adult
Self – destructive Tenancies
Highly sensitive to conflict (loud voices, arguing, disagreements)
Low self esteem
No love for my self
Inappropriate emotional responses to stressful situation
Un diagnosed as a child didn’t have enough information.
TRATES OF ASPERGES
Under going test for each.