Hi guys hope you have had an amazing week this week. Were to start and what topic. Had a tough week in my self, really felt very sluggish my thoughts all other the place. Worrying about thinks witch is out of my control mediocrity at its worst, people not taking responsibility of them self’s and mistakes made buy them, also me not taking care of my heart enough. Also me stepping up to my DMP and starting a journey of true empathy and love for our fellow human beings. A roller-coaster week that I feel is making my stronger and cleaning out mistakes.
The weekend was all about my heart spending time with some body I had allowed my self to get close to. Feeling blessed and warm feeling loved. To be pushed aside on Monday out of fear and holding back in her self. Pushing and pulling on peoples emotions are not fair especially when they’re as sensitive as I am. I am a very sensitive person feeling people’s emotions and pain. Energy of others affects me. I am very grateful for this gift and feel very blessed. And I wish people would open up to allowing that feeling and their gifts to flow as we all have them. I made that decision that’s been screaming at me for weeks that this person is broken and will never take care of my feelings the way they deserve to be taken care of. I deserve to be loved the way I love others.
Had a tough start to the week. Insurance company contacted me told me my insurance had been cancelled and they can’t start it back up. My premium had gone up because of an accident I had two months ago. Not having my car is a big blow right now. As I am waiting to start work with in children’s homes with children from dysfunctional family’s. Waiting for DBS checks as so far took 15 weeks and still waiting and criminal check from Majorca as well. Struggling to stay a float financially at the moment trying to work on my life purpose. Trying to be me and let go of the things that hold me back. Because of this happening I contacted my grandfather asking him ask my uncle if I could put my care on the business insurance. Which would cost him no more money putting it on there. As I am insured on the company policy, witch in turn would safe me 2000 pounds that I don’t have to get my self insured again. What did I except the answer to be a family of money and greed a family that’s not even allowed to speak the truth. A family that as talked down to me all my life trying to tell me how to be how to think. A family full of narcissistic people. Money makes people selfish greedy and the world the way it is in pain. Why do we need that big house? Why do we need that nice suit. Ego is what is making us greedy making the world the way its is. And lack of empathy is why we have wars and people are dying from having no food.
There as been a lot to deal with this week. Me having to take responsibility for this pain. Its My fault I don’t stand up for my self and have allowed people to treat me lick I was wrong. Realizing I am the one who as allowed my self to live in fear. I have take responsibility of allowing people to walk other my heart buy not speaking up, speaking my truth. I feel blessed in my mind even thow this is hard I know its for my good , I know I will be the best I can be and I know I will find people like me and build these foundations all other the world . this world needs our help or our children will have nothing .
Got to understand part of my story. This past 8 months as been the toughest time of my life trying to find my self inside, Breaking down walls built up because of family, past relationships and me. Picking away at the fear that keeps holding me back. Realizing so much more then just problems inside of my self-realizing I can feel peoples pain energy. Realizing this as been effecting me and not knowing What to do with these gifts. Waking up to the truth. The truth of me been broken inside, the fear of me absorbing every body else programing and fears. I have give up a disc jokey (DJ) job. Witch was 5 years late in coming. Carried on doing the job because of my son been born and Fear of having more costs and money needed. Always knowing in the back of my mind that the law says I have know rights as a father. All right go two the mother of my child because I am a man not a women and were not married. Giving his mum the power and control. Giving into the lies that came from her, paying for every think nursery, clothes , feeding him at mine every day. Having to leave been a way from him winter times as I needed money and there was no work on the island. I have come back to England to change my life for the better to strip my self down from the inside out. Leaving my son in Majorca is killing me inside but if I don’t do this and live my life purpose I am going to die inside. I don’t think about money like people of this world do. I don’t want for a lot. I just want to be loved and to help people as best as I can. My heart says help others. Problem I am having with this spiritual awakening is my intuition getting stronger. I could all ready see so much more of the truth in the world then most people, but now its just getting stronger. Feels like somebody is hammering this into me on weekly bases, pain after pain.
Every night since Monday I have been out feeding the homeless this week. Feeling hurt inside before leaving to help and blessed buy the time I came back. Meeting a kind man who organizes the charity feeding the homeless. With the same purpose and heart when it comes to really helping the homeless. Watch this space I see thinks falling in line.
What ever we are going threw , what ever pain we have to deal with , what ever truth we have to learn about our self’s . Believe its for our good and remember there is people that have nothing that have more heart then a person that as every think . Love , Empathy , respect true religion of life.